Tag: inspiration

So on we can go

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If you read my blog, or know me personally, you know that my brother and my mother died earlier this year. What you may not know is that a friend of mine died not long after my mother did. So, I think we can say that spring this year was full of loss for me. Grief, even if it is complicated grief, or expected grief can cause us to react and process life in unpredictable ways. My mind, like so many of ours, can focus on the loss. Indeed, whenever I think that I am feeling good, my loss smacks me in the face one way or another again.

Thankfully though, we have the words of giants to help us along when things feel dark and difficult.

Swami Vivekananda often says things just right. If you haven’t read any of his works, do. Your heart will not regret it. Here is something that has been a bit of light for me lately.

The ideal of man is to see God in everything. But if you cannot see Him in everything, see Him in one thing, in that thing which you like best, and then see Him in another. So on you can go. There is infinite life before the soul. Take your time and you will achieve your end.

Ambiance

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America often has these love affairs with other countries, and their various aesthetics or the way of raising children or serving food. Right now, publishing in America is all about the wonders of the Nordic countries with their clean lines, warm foods and cozy books on Christmas Eve.

Swept away in a wild moment in Barnes & Nobles a few months ago, I bought the book American Cozy, which combines the Danish concept of Hygge with American sensibilities. While a fluffy sort of browsing book, it did have some good ideas about how we can cultivate our sense of home.

Lately, my extended family life has been full of grief and confusion. I had a bit of time, and I lit a ton of candles and played soothing music, and did all I could do to be fully present in my home. While it didn’t fix anything, planting myself more firmly in my environment and out of my head for a little bit gave me enough energy to move on to the next thing I had to do.

When our brains hijack our souls, we need to bring ourselves back into the present moment over and over again. I’m curious, how do you bring yourself into a sense of home?

Keeping the faith

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I think most of us can agree that not much good seems to be hitting the headlines. There is injustice and cruelty at every turn. Really, it’s one terrible thing after another. In the midst of all this misery, I came across this great quote in one of my favorite magazines; The Sun. The quote they chose is from Dean Koontz, who is a sort of moral and warm horror writer.

On an individual level, the human condition changed day by day, even hour by hour, and while you were soaking in self-pity over a misfortune, you might miss an opportunity for a redeeming triumph. And for every act of inhumanity, the species managed to commit a hundred acts of kindness; so if you were the type to brood, you would be more sensible if you dwelt on the remarkable goodwill with which most people treated others.

So, friends, while we are doing our best to prepare for better times, let us not become embittered or paralyzed. Let’s look for redeeming triumphs, any drop of kindness we can find and multiply, and look for opportunities to love and be loved. In this way, perhaps we can make it through with our hearts still intact.

On Platitudes

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Friends, I have been so busy. The last two months has been a whirlwind of activity and a sinkhole of responsibility. Because of this, I haven’t written much. When I finally came out of the intense period about a week ago, I went to ground and READ LIKE CRAZY. I read some fun stuff, some serious stuff, and then I read this.

Kate Bowler’s Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved is a work of art. So often, we wish for answers to what we are going through. We want reasons, explanations, assurances, and the conviction that we are doing exactly what we should be doing. Unfortunately, while things sometimes do turn out well, it isn’t a given thing. A Job story isn’t a source of comfort to me, nor is it to our author, who gets a delayed death sentence with a baby in the house, and a history of faith. (If you don’t know what a Job story is, you can read about it here on this Wikipedia page or in brief, Job is a good, God-loving man with a wonderful life and family. Due to a wager between God and Satan, they basically destroy Job’s life and family to see if he is still righteous at the end of his suffering. Lucky Job, he passes the test, and gets an even better family. If you can’t tell, I’m not a fan of this tale).

Bowler’s story isn’t just beautifully written, she offers solid advice for people who want to help in times of trouble. I have a number of friends who have been going through some really rough times. Other friends will say, “I’ve been meaning to call, but I don’t know what to say!” Just call. You don’t have to say anything wise or good. Be practical. Send letters. Drop off food. Be yourself. And read this book. It’s brilliant.

How a Legacy is Made

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I just read this amazing book about Joseph Lister, a 19th century Quaker surgeon who revolutionized medicine, studying and perfecting the process of asepsis, which keeps bacteria from taking root. Before Lister’s methods were implemented and popularized, getting surgery was a game of chance, with poor odds. An enormous population of post-surgical patients died from sepsis or post-operative infection, so even if the initial ailment didn’t kill them, the surgery often did.

Things of note about Joseph Lister: His Quaker faith held a strong principle of doing good for mankind, accolades were a distant second. A questing mind kept his curiosity and rigor in testing his methods sharp. His goal did not waver. Over decades of his professional notebooks, the first and last entries deal with the issue of sepsis and post-operative infection, showing that he was always striving for more understanding. His friends and colleagues that he associated with were of a similar mindset (such as Louis Pasteur, who provided the framework for Lister developing his theory). And if a patient needed assistance after surgery, even in life circumstances, Lister did his best to help. He was known as a keen teacher. Whenever the occasion presented itself, he did his best to spread the Lister method and create converts. Who could count the number of lives saved? When vision, intellect, and a strong moral imperative are united, great work can be achieved.

In The Butchering Art: Joseph Lister’s Quest to Transform the Grisly World of Victorian Medicine, Lindsey Fitzharris shows us what character combined with purpose can be. So much of our lives tend to float us from one happening to the next. How can we contribute to something greater than ourselves? A common question that many people ask at the end of their lives is “will I be remembered?” Let’s make that easier to answer.

Not all of us may know what we may yet become, but what are you passionate about? What could you prioritize? What is the framework in which you live your life, and are you staying true to the goal? Not all of us will change medicine, but your life has worth. There is something out there that only you can do. As the line from Mary Oliver’s oft-quoted poem The Summer Day goes, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your with your one wild and precious life?”

 

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Letting go and moving on

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I know I’ve spoken of this before, but so often, people keep themselves from finding satisfaction in the bodies that they are in because they dwell on what they used to be able to do/look like/fit into and so on. There are other things to lament too. I often say that people should have met me before I had kids. I was such a clear thinker, a firecracker! If you have kids, you know what I’m talking about. Sometimes, we long for a period, a person, a feeling from the past. The good news though is that things have always been this way, or at least since the poet Hafiz wrote about it back in the 14th century. So, if you lament in this way, you are unique just like everyone else.

Here’s a poem of his for your enjoyment, excerpted from the translation by Daniel Ladinsky in The Gift: poems by Hafiz, the great Sufi master. If you’ve never read any Hafiz, this has been a very enjoyable and thoughtful read.

Stop Being so Religious

What

Do sad people have in

Common?

It seems

They have all built a shrine

To the past

And often go there

And do a strange wail and

Worship.

What is the beginning of Happiness?

It is to stop being

So religious

Like

That.

Happy New Year’s 2018!

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Happy New Year’s, friends. Are we all ready to put a cap on 2017?

On the upside, I have officially finished my first year of Yoga Therapist training. I am a 500 hour certified yoga teacher now, and halfway through my therapy program. I have been learning a lot. Through the wonderful students in my classes who are willing to try nearly anything, I have been able to make theory into practice, and see how things work on real bodies in real time.

I’ve been seeing a lot of clients, and getting the chance to delve in deeper, listening not just to what someone is saying, but what they aren’t saying (which of course, is a super librarian skill too. It’s so nice when worlds collide).

If you are hankering for a resolution, and haven’t come up with one yet, here are some suggestions.

  1. Eat at least one full serving of vegetables every day, if you don’t eat any now. Having grown up with a very vegetable adverse family, I learned how to cook, eat and enjoy all sorts (except for peppers and onions, yuck) through challenging myself in this way. Getting a good vegetable cookbook helps.
  2. Cook one new recipe a week, any type. Desserts, appetizers, and barbeque all count.
  3. Read at least three classics this year, that have been sitting on your bookshelf languishing.
  4. Start tongue-scraping daily. It makes a difference!
  5. Write down one line in a daily journal to document your year.

If you are a person who is recommitting to or learning to love your body, the estimable Amber Karnes has a group going called The Body Positive Rebellion. It’s free, with a nice online community.

Lessons on grace, from Anne Lamott and Frank Zappa

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Today, I remembered the great quote from Anne Lamott that says, “You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.” We all do this from time to time, and perhaps now even more than ever. Imagine if we didn’t back our opinions with the self-righteousness of God?

Then, there’s this: my brother in law’s friend told me this story that his mom told him. One time, a crazed fan broke into Frank Zappa’s house, wielding a gun. Zappa had company over, but took it in stride. He offered the gun holder a beer, and a seat, and everyone sat down to talk. Then he said, my friends and I were just getting ready to do this ceremony in which we say goodbye to something. Can we do that?

They went to this pond in the backyard, and everyone started saying goodbye to their attachments, by throwing something into the water. Frank Zappa threw something in (a sandal? a book? The details have been lost). Then he looked expectantly at the guy. He looked at his gun, said *@!& it!, and threw the gun into the water, and left.

Imagine meeting your attacker with such smooth grace. There have been many stories like this circulated, although perhaps not with such a personage as Frank Zappa at the center. I don’t even know if it’s true, but I like to think it is.

What could be possible if we didn’t assume things about people? What if instead of reacting, we offered the proverbial olive branch (or beer) to someone that we perceive as an attacker? If you have a story about this, please leave it in the comments.

 

Yoga for Depression

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I’m finishing up an excellent book, Healing Depression the Mind-Body Way by Nancy Liebler and Sandra Moss. I am not currently depressed, but I certainly have been in the past. Actually, I was first introduced to yoga about 20 years ago when I went through a severe clinical depression, which included a hefty dose of anxiety as well (as depression often does). Yoga is, and has been a touchstone, and a first line of defense when depression and/or anxiety looms.

A little more on that, because this is a topic near and dear to my heart. For many people who get out of control depression, anxiety may be the first sign. If you find yourself acting and thinking more intensely than normal, take care. The body and mind get so wound up, that eventually, the system shuts down and depression may result. Think of it as a car engine overheating. If you’ve ever driven a really crummy car, or series of (as I did for an entire decade of my life), you may have experienced this. First the gauge starts to show that you are getting too warm. If you are a reasonable driver, you may decide that you really need to get somewhere, and maybe you will see if driving slower will still get you there, or to a service station. You turn off the air, pray you hit no stoplights. Eventually, you either manage to fix the problem, or you break down. This process is very like the reality of unchecked anxiety. If you don’t slow down, and regroup, you may not make it to your service station. You may just break down, which is when anxiety turns to depression. Having a daily yoga practice is an excellent way to keep on top of how and what you are feeling.

In this book, the authors offered a great overview of the different types of depression, some Ayurveda informed practices to support the different types, lifestyle changes, and some sample case studies to use as examples. If you find that depression, sadness, or anxiety loom heavy on your heart, I encourage you to find human help. If depression is something you revisit periodically, try reading the book before you are in crisis. You may discover what your early signs are, and be able to minimize your next event. More people have experienced depression than you know. And when you make it through, I urge you to be a light for others who are caught out in the dark. Having made it through, I feel like it is my duty (and a welcome one) to look out for others who may be stumbling, or have succumbed.

If you have never experienced depression, don’t try to cheer your depressed friend up. Just sit with them. Honestly, the best thing you can do is to acknowledge their pain, in a spirit of empathy. There is a wonderful Brene Brown video on the difference between sympathy and empathy. Watch it. Being there means everything.

 

 

Like attracts like

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Today, I gave a presentation at my church about some of the spiritual observances of yoga (primarily the Yamas and Niyamas) and led the group in a chair based yoga practice, incorporating breath awareness, and a little bit of breath control. Afterwards, I took questions, which is always fun. In that Q&A period, someone asked what kind of practice they should pursue. This is where discipline comes in.

If you are a fiery overachiever, you will be most attracted to a fiery, accomplishment-driven practice. If you are a couch potato, restorative may be the only yoga you really want to sign on for. However, since like attracts like, if you are fiery, and only do fiery, you are only making yourself more intense. One of the many wonderful purposes of yoga is to help to bring us into balance. If you are fiery, asking you to do a restorative may be too much of a leap, but could you find joy in a more contemplative practice that still offers some challenge? If you are sedentary, a fast-paced flow class may be excessive, but could you find some challenge in an Iyengar class? Over time, we can use this balancing of opposites to bring us to the practice that we need.

Seasons of our lives also impact what might be best for us. If you are a busy householder, finding an hour to carve out each day for a languorous practice may not be practical, but you could develop a shorter practice that offers the maximum benefit. If we are in ill health, perhaps our practice may focus on breath control and meditation, and less on the poses.

Whatever we choose, examine whether it is moving you toward a noble goal, or a superficial one. If yoga is bringing you more stability, insightfulness, and introspection, you are on the right track. How does yoga help you? Let me know in the comments.